Metal Bench

      I lay here outside left-field, soaking in the starlight. My thoughts inevitably turn to you. It's not that you don't notice me, we laugh together every day, it's that I'm everything to you in the wrong way.
      When you smile at me, run to me and give me a hug, I never--ever--want to let you go. When you're crying on my shoulder after a long day I want to whisper though your tears that I love you.
      I know you don't understand how much it hurts when you talk about him the way you do with that glitter in your eye that carries into your smile. But it's that same smile that I dream about on nights like this.

      I'm here every night because this is where you once told me you loved me. You didn't mean it in the way I longed for you to mean it. Like this bench, it was cold. Warm to you maybe, but the curt sentence cut straight through my chest. So I sit here still, wishing you were here, knowing that you need me more as just a friend.

      And what wouldn't I do for the girl worth a thousand of me?

Catalyst

It has been
distant as Orion for a while now.
So nearly out of sight that I dreamt upon it, instead of
reaching for it.

I wouldn't recall
its enveloping warmth--
the life it gave to even the most somber of nights.
On purpose.

To remember
hurt. To think of all that
had once been got to me every time. Feeling alone
among all

who still possessed it.
And even more so among those who didn't.

I am
the master of the fickle
fine. Clench your teeth through the pain and
it's a smile.

Nobody could
possibly be able to understand
what it's like to feel like everything is holding on
by a thread.

Patience,
it turns out, truly is a
virtue. All good things come to those who
wait.

You came along.
Just in time.

You.
Someone who knew
who knew what it was like to live in a cage.
Alone.

Someone
who escaped and flew
and lived. Living now with a true smile and a truer
laugh.

All that's left
is to thank you for what you've
given me, in the only way I know how-- through
words.

You've given me the greatest gift:
Hope.