Come So Far

I can honestly say that I never thought that this would happen.

When I started this blog just a few months ago I never thought that I would see the day that I would have over 1600 views, and a pocket full of subscribers.

In all truth I was skeptical that anyone would be interested in hearing what I have to say. I was just an eighteen-year-old kid with an overactive imagination and a mind that loved to wander.

So thank you.
Thank you so much.

It was my birthday yesterday. So I'm not "Just Eighteen" anymore. I considered changing the name of this blog to "Just Nineteen", but that just didn't feel right. The more I thought about it, the more I kept coming back to how far I've come since I started this, and from that I drew the new name of this blog:

Come So Far.

I dedicate this post to everyone who has read--and hopefully enjoyed--my ramblings so far.

------

I used to use words to talk.
I would sit and speak through type.
I wanted everyone to listen.
And nod their heads.

I added some rhythm to those words,
though they weren't exactly a song.
As I spoke the words I could feel myself dancing
and I hoped others danced as well.

Now I use words to think.
To think out loud, and I hope--
Hope that others think with me.
Because we've come so far.

------

Little Lexi

I will never stop.

Never stop climbing walls.

Never stop the late calls.

And you know why.

Even if you fight me,

I will never stop fighting

for you.

From you,

I would take every painful moment

upon myself if I could.

In a heartbeat.

When your knees shake,

I will relieve you of any burden

I can steal away.

Because you never have to be alone.

You will always have my

shoulder to lean on,

cry on, to hold on.

Our hands will always be

outstretched.

Even if you hide,

I know that you know

that I'll be right here.

Waiting on the front steps—

Even in the snow.

And you know how much I hate snow.

Never stop laughing.

Because your smile is worth

so much more than you know.

Look around you,

because I will surround you

with everything beautiful.

All you have to do

is take a deep breath—

And hold it.

Cling to it.

Because sometimes beauty

is all you have to remind you

of who you really are.

And who you are,

is twice as breathtaking.

Front

Independent. Immune.

She is fearless.

She is strong.

All those around her

“know” it.

And they all think they see it.

But.

Look. Look deep inside.

Past the walls—past the pride.

And see the girl.

She is afraid. Trembling.

She has fallen, and

It’s dark.

So dark that even her own eyes

betray her, and

She can’t even see herself anymore.

She searches for light

for anything to remind her that she’s

still real. 

She lights a candle.

And another.

And another.

They are dim,

but warm.

And warm means that

She’s still living.

So many candles are lit, though,

that as she lights each one,

another runs out of wax.

No time for tears.

----- 

Turn around.

Flip the switch,

That’s been there all along.

There is a light that

never flickers.

Never dims.

Just say a prayer,

He’ll meet you there.

Wherever “there” may be.

She makes a decision.

An empty space at a table.

As the room floods

with white,

she rises to its heat.

It fills her body and

she remembers

who she is.

A daughter of god.

A princess.

A belle.

Her vigor renews,

she blinks her eyes at

the blinding big world.

And changes it.